sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
