We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
