Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
