I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
