I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
