no, he came in my armpit
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
