he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
