hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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