I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
