I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So many bounce houses so little time
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
