Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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