My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
