Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The best revenge is premature balding
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
