The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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