hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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