just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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