My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
