I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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