I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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