boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
