a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
