garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
