Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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