You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
