But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
