A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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