How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
