omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
