dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
