Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Welp...herpes.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
