Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
