she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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