He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
