I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
