let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
handjob tips. give me some.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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