I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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