I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
