i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
