He is an equal opportunity slut.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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