Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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