i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
