I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
