our cab driver is having phone sex.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
