this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
