we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
