I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
honey bunches of taint.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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