You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
That's intense
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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