I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
