walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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