I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
