So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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