I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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