I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
