you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
