Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
