i would punch a child for taco bell
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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