Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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