She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
